Ahh marriage.. lovely subject matter to talk about. Once you enter a certain age bracket, the question about marriage inevitably comes up. From family, from friends and sometimes even from aquaintances. It seemed like a whole new world of topic has just opened up. People whom you have not seen for a while would ask if you are married when all they used to ask were if you were attached.

Big difference. Marriage and Attached. Two singular concepts which are similar but really a world or two apart. I have always felt that one has to be either, reached a certain maturity level to discuss marriage or could be, very simply put, rather naive. Sometimes just the fact that you are getting older means it is almost a prerequist to discuss marriage in order for a relationship to continue. There are many rational logic behind this: time and money management being the first and foremost concern for some.

Think of the time you need to queue for a flat from the HDB which is invariably linked to being only able to affort the new flats and not some other more expensive options. For example, freehold, condos, open market, all of which will bypass the need to wait for 3 to 5 years for a new flat.Think too about the money needed for the preparation for the wedding itself; the dinner, the honeymoon, the renovations, the rings, the photographs, the wedding dresses and tuxedo. And think also about the time needed to plan such an event, the time needed to register for ROM at the date you would like, the hall for the wedding dinner, the wedding guests, where to for honeymoon, what kind of wedding etc etc etc.

The logistics involved are staggering. And that is only the event itself. What about post event? When do you want to get marry has great influence on some women. Is she going to pass the optimal child-bearing age? The possible effects of a late pregnancy? And if you have children late, that would also mean you could work right up to retiring age and still be supporting your children.

I can go on and on. But what is the most important in this whole deal of marriage and the possible baggage which it entails? What about the "love till death to us part" bit of it? I have no doubt that love is part of marriage and the decision to get married. But how is it possible in this day and age to make love the all deciding factor when there are so many things else to consider. It could be a case of "the spirit is willing, but the wallet is weak". How many has succumbed to hurrying such a momentuous decision because of all the extraneous variables involved? Ever wondered if that could have an impact on our divorce rate as well?

It is therefore interesting when I have noticed that i too have stepped into that precarious age bracket, with looming decisions sitting by my door, and looking at how i can potentially cope with it. I must say sometimes these fears are rather gripping. It doesn't help to have heralds blowing the wedding march on silver trumpets everytime you turn around to attend another friend's wedding. It is both pressurizing and potential for pressure induction on your significant other. I have to admit that i too lose my grip on "reality" (or perhaps the ideal: love being the ideal reason for marriage) at times. But most people in this day and age who has his/her mind to want marriage on their future agenda will have to grapple with these issues in various degrees. I guess i am no exception either.